NRA show as a hoplophobe might imagine it

I attended the NRA meeting last weekend in Indianapolis. Official numbers are 75 thousand attendees. I was appalled. As I was walking down the aisle, a young man wearing black tactical pants and a black t-shirt emblazoned Infidel with a picture of an assault weapon bumped into an older lady. The lady turned around and said “you want a piece of me?” The guy said “Stuff it, you old bag”. The lady whipped out a little revolver and yelled “back off, asshole”. The militia type pulled out a Glock and replied “Oh, yea?” At that point they both opened fire. I walked away as they lay dying in a co-mingled pool of blood. Things quieted down for a while, but just as I got towards the middle of the main floor, I heard one of the salesmen in the Remington booth yell at the Colt display “Hey asshole, your guns suck, Why don’t you move into the current century?” A Colt guy replied “Yeah? You’re just butt-hurt because you don’t provide most of the guns to the Army and Marines” The Remmy guy then moves to “Yeah? We’re the go-to gun for hunters around the country and the world”. At that point the Colt guy says “ Well brag about this.” At which point people realized that the shiny brass gatling gun was functional as the Colt team dropped in a stick of 45-70 and started sweeping their competitor’s booth. People ran screaming as the Remington guys took cover and started blazing with R-15’s and ‘-25’s. As I left the exhibit hall, I overheard an Indianapolis Metro cop telling his partner “Damn, another NRA meeting. I hope they have it somewhere else next time.”

Oh, wait, none of that happened even though there were probably more guns per square foot, concealed or otherwise, than anywhere but an army warehouse. Some large percent (25%?) of the attendees were undoubtedly packing. Everyone I saw was polite. People apologized when they bumped you in the halls. Out of the thousands of people I passed in the aisles, I saw one (1) person open carrying…but he was wearing a tactical kilt, so what do you expect.


But seriously, I enjoyed my first NRA meeting. Lots of cool stuff. I got to be a fanboi, visiting Mark Walters at the Crossbreed booth, Alan Gottlieb at SAF, George Kellgren’s son (Derek?) at Kel-Tec’s booth, and Mas and Gail, Marty Hayes and Gila and Michael Bane at Michael Buys The Beer at the Slippery Noodle. Actually the last one was like a mini MAG-40 reunion because as I was sitting down for dinner before the event, Jessica Smith called me over to their table with her husband and dad. We all said Hi to Mas and Gail later as the party got underway.